Why Mom's Phone Has 6 Billion Photos On It

I haven't printed off pictures from my phone or camera in about 4 years. Why, you ask? Just go print them at Walmart, you say?

Well, last night I did just that. 

Rylie Cole had brought it to my attention that we don't have any "new" pictures in our frames and that I never print out the pictures I take. 

I plan on it, I just never get around to it. 

So, yesterday evening while she was in cheer and I went to Walmart to buy groceries, I decided I'd try to print JUST TWO of our Easter pictures to put in a frame. 

Picture it, me pushing one of those big two seater kid buggies entering Walmart with four of my five babies, happy as can be, smiling, saying hello to passing strangers, ya know, happy mom! We don't look the best because I didn't realize it was time to leave the house, so we didn't have time to spruce up before we left. No problem. We'll drop Rylie off at cheer and we will be in and out. Piece of cake. 

Then we got to the picture kiosk. Rowdy and Cash were begging to go look at some fancy new yoyos they had displayed just far enough away from the photo lab to make me uncomfortable about letting them go look. "No, boys! Just wait. You want to get kidnapped? This won't take but a minute." Boys are now irritated because those yoyos are begging them to come take a look. 

Remmi and Roxie, one of them fixed their own hair (equivalent to a ponytail made by Ray Charles with arthritis) and the other decided she didn't really need that cute little braid Momma had put in right before we left the house. Their hair was lived-in to put it nicely, but it went well with their Go-Gurt mustaches and sandy flip flop feet. You know when your kids got that filthy baby look going on? They can't act up while they look like that. No sir, only when they are cute and clean, or people will think you are one of "those" families that goes grocery shopping in pajamas and no bra.) 

I'm trying to figure out the photo machine, a lot has changed since I last used one, and the kids start to get restless. 

So does Mom. 

"Get over here!"

"Keep your shoes on."

"Don't stand up in the buggy."

"No, you're not buying another knife."

"Hang on, one second and I'll take you to the bathroom."

That was a big mistake. 

At this point, Remmi is lying under the seat of the buggy and Roxie is sitting down. I've got my two photos selected and ready to print out. 

Then it happens. 

Remmi, while giggling and snickering, "Momma, Roxie is teeteeing on me."

I look down. 

Sure enough. Roxie is sitting in the seat and letting it go. Dripping straight down to where Remmi is laying. 

Ughhhhhhhhh!

I quickly unplug my phone from the machine and start looking for one of those Spill Station poles. I send Rowdy over to grab the roll or paper towels. (He's super shy.) He can't walk over to the pole without Cash. "Just go get the paper towels, Rowdy! Hurry!" Rowdy, looking at Cash like, 'c'mon, I can't go 10 feet alone'. I run over and grab the towels myself. There's some guy walking past and he's looking at the huge puddle. Now I'm embarrassed. Keep moving, buddy, nothing to see here. At this point I'm not smiling or making eye contact with anyone and I'm cleaning the floor and buggy as fast as I can, hoping no one sees. I get the puddle clean and we head back to the bathroom. The girls' dresses are light pink and where they're wet is now super bright. Super obvious. 

Now I'm like, I don't care, I'm printing out the two pictures. We go back to the photo kiosk, after washing up the girls the best I can and wrapping them up in paper towels. I successfully print out the two pictures. Yes! Victory!!! But my thrill from the pictures is short lived. The girls are still wet. I'm feeling like a horrible mom and try to decide if I should go buy new panties and outfits for them, or just high tail it to the checkout and leave. But we still need groceries!

I quickly grabbed the little bit of groceries that I knew we had to have. All the action has made me lose track of time. (I knew I should have worn my watch today!) It's now time to pick up Rylie. What?! I still have to get some produce and stand in line and check out! We rush to checkout. Hurry up, lady in front of me! Doesn't that conveyer belt move any faster? "No you can't have candy!" I'm pretty sure I may have growled and gritted my teeth when I said that. We just have to get out of here. It's now past the time I'm supposed to have picked up Rylie and I'm getting texts from the dance teacher asking if I'm on my way. I pay and get to my car as fast as I can. We load the car and buckle and peel out of the parking lot. We finally make it to the cheer studio eleven minutes late. Dang it! 

I was feeling pretty frazzled and was certain we fit right in with those People Of Walmart (If you don't know what that is, Google 'people of Walmart'), but I got my two pictures! That ought to do for another four years. 

So, that's why I have 6 billion pictures on my phone and don't have any "new" pictures in my frames! 

XO, Jennifer