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Yesterday I got to spend time with my bestie (!!!) and I gave her a little interview. Let me just say, y'all think I have my hands full?! Ha! This chick had twin monkeys! Like, I don't even think they were human at the time. I have NEVER saw "babies" do things those boys did. I didn't know a baby could hop out of a crib like a tiny Chuck Norris and disassemble things so quickly like a mini Macgyver. (I think she might have fed them too much spinach.) And then she had the baby girl, who was actually human, so she got lucky with that one. A few years later, she even had another! Is she insane? Absolutely! Is she extremely blessed? Blessed beyond words.
(Yes, they are THAT tan, fit family that we all see at the beach. If I didn't love her so much, I'd probably hate her.)
So now, she has the twin 10-year-old boys (who actually did turn out to be human), Hunter & Carter, an 8-year-old little girl, Bayli Belle, and a 3-year-old son, Tucker Tex.
Let me just say, if you think you're sinking and going under, we have been there. We are STILL there. Then someone hands you another baby. It DOES get better! Then it gets worse. Then it gets even better than before! It's stressful and chaotic and tear-jerking and wonderful and hilarious and jaw-dropping all at the same time. THIS is motherhood and THIS IS "normal", "everyday" life.
We came up with five questions and these are straight up her responses. Straight from the horses mouth.
1) What is your biggest mom failure?
I have a few, but I'll roll with this one:
One time, my husband, 3 kids (at the time), and I, had gone over to my sisters house. The twins were 3 and Bayli belle was 2. My sister ran outside as we were getting out of the car, and hurried us inside to come watch the epic "Kanye vs Taylor swift" speech. We watched it, insulted Kanye for a good 20-30 minutes, and shot the breeze before my niece politely asked "where BayBelle?" We shew'ed her off, saying she was around somewhere, but then I got that sinking feeling of not remembering unbuckling her and getting her out of the car. I asked my husband, he said he didn't either, so we all ran outside and there she was.. Tear streaked face, Still buckled in her car seat, right between her brothers' (who could unbuckle themselves) carseats. Thank GOD it was a cool March night so she was safe. But after that, I've been able to sympathize with the retard parents who "forgot their kids in the car" on an ACTUAL accident. Yes, I forgot my 2 year old in the car. :(
2) What is the worst thing your kids have ever done?
I agreed to letting our kids get BB guns when my husband and I agreed they could handle the responsibility.once they got them, I named every rule I could think of.."don't shoot towards a person, a house, any building, any of the dogs, horses, cows, cars, bikes, toys, atv's, farm equipment, hay bales (don't need cows and horses eating metal and colic-ing). Don't shoot close enough to a tree or target for it to ricochet, make sure no one is going to run across your aimed gun, before you shoot.." You know, the 999 basic rules. Drilled that Jazz in their heads. Nagged them to death about the rules every time they asked to take them outside.
Out of 3 kids with BB guns, they followed the rules fairly decent and got punished when they broke them. But when it was brought to my attention that my kids had apparently gotten good with those BB guns, and they had brought proof to school.. Yes, my 8 yr old twin boys, and my 7 year old girl had EACH brought a dead bird...in their backpacks.. To school... I was mortified. When we got home, my eyes were opened to their target practice. There were over 40 dead birds littered throughout my front yard. Apparently, I had not made enough rules. And I'm waiting for psychologists to come put them all up in a mental institution for the criminally insane.
3) What has been your hardest mom moment?
As far as mentally/physically demanding hard? I was broken into motherhood with a set of twin boys. Their ninja raccoon butts climbed and got into EVERYTHING. 8 months later, I found out I was pregnant with ANOTHER baby (a girl). I had 3 kids under 1&1/2. I have so many stories of frustration. But one day, in particular, stands out..
I woke up to giggles in the dark, got out of bed, walked towards the noise, and flipped on the lights to the kitchen to see that my twin boys, at 1&1/2yrs old, climbed out of their cribs, and opened the fridge. They had every single thing out and on the floor. We're talking butter, eggs, syrup, milk, juice, left overs, lunch meat, hot sauce, jelly, coffee creamer.. NOTHING WAS IN ITS CONTAINER. They squeezed, scooped, busted, and dumped it all out. It was 4am.
After that, we had a normal day, and I was giving all 3 kids a bath before bed time. I got the twin boys out of the bath, finished Bayli Belle (she was a little baby), dried her off, walked into the living room, saw 2 separate puddles of pee and 1 puddle of puke on the floor. Put the baby down on the couch (in the corner where I thought she'd be safe) in a panic, ran over to one of the twins who was sucking on a Clorox Wipe, grabbed it from him, only to realize there were about 20 wipes spread out over the room, knotted up in the corners like they had been sucked on, ran him to the potty to throw up some more, ran into the kitchen to get some water, saw the other twin had picked up a wipe on the floor and started sucking on it also, REALLY??! WHO SEES A WIPE AND THINKS "MMM TASTY"???, shoved the water into Carter's hands as I ran into the living room to grab Hunters 'meal' and the other 19 wipes laying around, made them both drink the water while I dialed poison control, was told "it's okay. Calm down. It's good that they threw up. Whatever you do, don't make them drink water.", slapped the water out of Carter's hands, made it spill everywhere, heard a boom followed by a small baby cry, ran in there to grab my baby that I let fall off the couch, accidentally hung up on poison control, and broke down into sobs. Hunter came over to me while I sobbed on the floor, wrapped his arms around me, which made carter come running over to hug me too. Then, I kid you not, Hunter stared me dead in the face, said "me sorry momma. No cry."...and peed on my hip.
All of the kids were completely fine, but I was put on depression pills after that day. Lol, jk! But really, I felt like I wasn't cut out for the job God had given me at 22 years old.
4) What is the worst parenting advice you have been given?
Let your kids drink with you when they're teenagers. They're gonna do it behind your back, might as well let them do it in front of you so you can control it.
Um, I'm sorry, did you just say "control" it? So I should relinquish control over rules, 'cause they're going to break them anyways, on top of that, CONDONE illegal and immoral activities.. All so I can "control" it by participating and watching it go down? Naw, fool. Not in my house. NAT up in hurr!!!
5) Is there anything that you wish you could change?
Well, first I want to clarify that I wouldn't change anything because changing certain things or times would change up everything I have today. And I couldn't be more blessed or find more beauty in exactly what I have at this very moment.
But I do wish I could go back and open my eyes a little better. Council my younger self and get me to see that it's all gonna be okay. I wish I would have relaxed more, taken a seat, and enjoyed the hell i unleashed onto this world.. Aka, the twins 😉 jk again! I really do wish I could go back and make myself enjoy them a little more, though. With their little sister coming along at only 1&1/2, I look back and feel guilty. Like I rushed them growing up. They didn't get to be babies for very long at all..
Someday, us mommas will wake up to a clean, quiet, empty home and wonder how it all went so fast. We need to cherish these moments and embrace the mayhem that is our life. Motherhood is a blessing denied to many. Be thankful and joyful for what you have! I know I am! Enjoy your day and, mostly, enjoy those babies.
❤️ Jennifer
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