You Really Thought You Were The Only One?

Hi, y'all! I want to thank all of y'all for reading my blog. I truly appreciate it! I'm not blogging to get attention or 'likes'. I am blogging because life is a full time circus and I want to share it with y'all! I especially want to help other mommas! Being a mom is really (really!) freaking hard sometimes and hopefully you can gain some comfort and peace here. So, I just want to take a second and introduce myself to the new readers. I'm a stay-at-home mom to our five babies, Rylie Cole, 10yo girl, Rowdy, 8yo boy, Cash, 6yo boy, Remmi, 3yo girl & Roxie, 17mo girl. We call them the RCC Gang. We homeschool and I've been married to my high school sweetheart for 12 years. I try to find the humor in things, I am a jokester (please don't be offended), I love to craft, cook, bake and I LOVE EVERYTHING that goes along with having a big family. Especially the chaos! I hope you will come back and read again and share some of your life with me! 

Today's post is a follow up to the post from yesterday. I interviewed my bestie and gave her some pretty tough questions. But you know what? Being honest and real about the tough stuff is what I like. It's easy to put on the mask and pretend everything is perfect, but sometimes we need to share that we are sinking and our floaties are busted and we can't even swim! Hey, somebody toss me a raft or something!!!

Please feel free to share with someone who you think could use it or might enjoy reading it! I think it helps to know others are cuckoo too and you sho ain't by yourself! Welcome to the club! I hope y'all enjoy the post. 

1) What is your biggest mom failure?

The biggest mom failure I have ever had, well, there has been a whole series of them. Then a second edition. Then a whole bunch of mini series. Even a few repeats. I've made SO many parenting mistakes. Things I am embarrassed to admit. Things I'm SCARED to admit. But I want other mommas to know that WE ALL have those moments, but the one that hurt my momma heart the most and made me feel like a total loser who wasn't worthy to have children is probably the time I was out delivering Girl Scout cookies and let my ducks get out of row. Rylie and Rowdy were still in public school at the time, and I only had four kids. I had made it all the way to the barber shop. I got Cash out of the Tahoe and was inside chatting for a good while with my friends, Misty and Linda. They paid for their cookies and Cash and I were on our way to our next delivery. I was buckling him into his car seat when it hit me, where is my baby?! Oh my goodness, WHERE THE HELL IS MY BABY???!!! I tore out of the barber shop parking lot and drove as calmly and swiftly as I possibly could. I was bawling and my stomach was in knots. Of course I got behind a whole convoy of tractors heading to the hayfield and it felt like it took hours for me to get home. I flew into my driveway and jumped out of my car without even helping Cash unbuckle. I couldn't get the door to my house unlocked fast enough. I flung the door open and there she was, my baby, screaming her head off, sweating, and swinging away in her swing. Of course she was about to fall out because who actually buckles their kid in the swing? Oops, once again! I felt depressed for days! Like I didn't deserve children. Like I was a horrible mother. Afraid that one day I'd be that woman who forgot her kids in a hot car in the Texas summer. My heart was broken. Talk about Mom Of The Year. It took me a long time to live that one down. Sad thing is, that wasn't even the first (or last) time! ::sigh:: That's a whole 'nother story. 

2) What is the worst thing your kids have ever done?

Hmm, well, most of the crazy, unbelievable kid stories I have involve poor widdle Cash. He's a rascal let me tell ya! Boys make for good stories! Our boys are Rowdy and Cash. We refer to them as "the raccoons" or Rowdy and Rowdier. Very fitting. Once I was on the phone with Nanny and I had to let her go because I heard shouting coming from the chimney. The kids were on the roof. Again. But I guess the worst thing my kids have ever done is when Cash (who was about 4 at the time) woke up in the middle of the night after "Santa had come". You know where this is going. He quietly got up and opened every single present there was. He dumped out every stocking. He took everything out from its package. He put everything together. I mean EVERYTHING! The girls' toys too. Caleb had even let the kids open a gift the night before and one required a tiny screwdriver that we didn't have, so they would have to wait to play with it. Guess what? It was put together! There were knives and tools scattered amongst the wrapping paper explosion in our living room. Who needs a screwdriver when you can get into the knife drawer? (And obviously I didn't have safety latches on my drawers. Another mom fail!) When we woke up, I was so floored by what I had seen and I lost it. I mean I was screaming and crying and cussing and ready to pack up the guilty party and take them to the orphanage. So, nobody got to actually open gifts (not counting Cash), but it was still great. Of course now it is one of our funniest memories and a story we will tell over and over again through the years. After the hurt and the anger, we laugh about it. I doubt Cash even remembers doing it, but I sure hope they don't remember Mom going psycho on Christmas morning...

3)What has been your hardest moment as a mom?

I'd have to say my hardest mom moment has been dealing with my kids growing up. I constantly feel like I am messing them up. Especially Rylie! I don't know how to raise big kids. I just know to do little kids. Kids who need help in the tub and need their shoes tied and need to be tucked into bed. I don't know how to deal with 'big kids' and questions about life and advice and ::cringe:: puberty. I need help! Or a maybe a prescription or two. I once read a quote that said "Kids are like pancakes, you mess up the first ones". I jokingly say it all the time, but it honestly scares me to death. I don't want to have a child some day tell me how terrible of a mother I was. I didn't have a storybook childhood with a mom and dad in the same house and I just want my kids to have the life I always wanted. I was raised by my grandparents and I am beyond thankful they took me in. I try my best to be the person I want my kids to be. I think most days I'm "that woman" who nobody would ever want to be. And, yes, I know I haven't even scratched the surface of parenting yet. I have a long road ahead. If you see me walking through town one day with one shoe on, half my hair gone and I'm mumbling to myself, you'll know my kids got the best of me. And if my kids ever write books on how horrible their childhood was, please don't believe all of it! 

4) What is the worst parenting advice you have ever been given? 

I don't want to ruffle any feathers here, and I sure wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, that's not what this is about, but even people who parent the same way and agree on most topics won't agree on everything when it comes to raising kids. For me, I'd have to say something I've been told to do, that I don't agree with is spanking your kid into learning something that they're not mature enough or developed enough to know. I am all for spankings when the time is right! But not when a kid is too young or doesn't understand. Sometimes kids try their best and it still isn't enough to please grown ups. Out of my 5 kids, 4 that are potty trained, only 2 didn't wet the bed. I'm not sure why some kids do and some kids don't. I guess it's a mystery, like who put the roll of toilet paper in the filled bath tub. We may never know. I guess what I'm saying is, I mean I don't agree with spanking your kids into not wetting the bed. I wet the bed FOREVER. I remember being a second grader and waking up so embarrassed and disappointed with myself and not knowing how I had peed the bed once again. I remember dreaming that I got up and went to the bathroom. I remember trying my best to hold it all night. I remember praying that I would wake up dry. I remember being scared to stay the night with people because I didn't want to pee in their beds and didn't want them to think I was gross. I remember hoping people didn't find out so that they wouldn't make fun of me. I remember wishing it was my younger brother who had the problem and not me. After all, he was little and I was "too big" for that "baby stuff". I remember spending the night with my mom and waking up in the middle of the night to a soaked bed and going to sleep in the dirty clothes basket because I was cold and wet and was too shy to wake my mom up for help. So, yeah, I have 100% sympathy for kids who wet the bed. Until you've lived it, you don't know it. Have I whipped my kids for peeing or pooping their pants when I KNOW they knew better? Yes. Have I had times where I KNOW my kids were just being stubborn and doing it intentionally? Yes. There is a difference. But do kids have accidents? Heck yes! We all want good kids and we all want to be good mommas. A kid that has a problem with wetting the bed isn't a sign of a failed mother, but a mother who whoops a child for something they can't even control is in fact a bully. Nobody wants to hurt their children or make them feel like failures. We are all doing our best and that's the important thing. 

5) What is something that you wish you could change? 

I wish I could go back and have a do over. Redo it all. I have messed up so bad before, y'all! I know most probably wouldn't want a do over, but I would. If I knew then what I know now, it'd be a whole lot easier. Some things I wouldn't want to have to relive, but I think I'd know how to handle them "the right way". I'd let more things go, let more things slide, not flip out over someone accidentally spilling a whole gallon of milk on the carpet. It'll clean up, right? It's not that big of a deal! I wouldn't have whipped my kids out of anger, I would have calmed down and thought about it. I wouldn't have yelled at them for making simple mistakes that kids make, I'd have hugged them and told them that everybody messes up and that it's ok. After all, home is their safe place and they are JUST KIDS. 

Mommas, we are all on this ride together. There's a whole crazy, sleep-deprived slew of us! We are all going insane. And none of us would have it any other way. We all have good days and bad. We all love what we do. We all want one more baby some day to add to the ridiculous amount of chaos we already have. Oh, wait, did I lose y'all on that one? Ok, maybe that's just me; well, we all pray we make it out alive! We all pray to Jesus for better days ahead! So, just pull up a seat and join the rest of us in our dirty yoga pants and let's just make it a party! Here's to motherhood! You're doing a fine job, Momma. 

❤️Love, Jennifer, a mom who most definitely doesn't have it all together